Monday, September 3, 2012

Those Who Fear Being Obsolete . . . Interfere

Patience, they say, is a virtue. Hmph. I've been running a little short on that these days. It doesn't seem to matter how long you've been doing what you do or how good you've shown people you are at what you do. There is always someone who thinks they need to "step in" to make themselves feel important and try to keep you down. These people interfere and "give advice" despite having little to no experience in it themselves!   I think they do it just because they need to believe they are necessary in the situation, as they are starting to feel overshadowed. You know the saying . . ."those who can't do . . teach", well I think I have one to add to that . . . "those who fear being made obsolete. . . interfere" often times in desperation. 

So, I'm leading and moderating this seminar segment with a guest speaker giving a presentation and a panel of experts. Timing is tight with a lot to fit in. I have a schedule down to the minute of all of the 5 or 6 things I want to accomplish in this session. I've even shared it with the seminar organizers, panelists and presenter so they all know what I'm doing and where I'm leading the session and how. I've even communicated it to the audience before the session started so that the audience knows what we're doing and where we're headed in the session.  So, we are perfectly on schedule during this session (accounting for the late start by those leading the day-long event, of course), and the leader of the organization sponsoring the event feels compelled to walk up to the stage during the middle of our session to tell me he thinks I should start implementing the next segment of our session. REALLY?! I'm right on schedule, and you feel a need to make a spectacle of your "leadership" in front of the entire audience to tell me what you think I should do when its already on my previewed schedule that you have from me?! My thoughts and attitude towards him was "I'LL GET TO THAT WHEN I GET TO IT!". Instead I said "Yes, I will - I have 1 more thing to do and we'll get there. We still have 15-20 minutes!".  UNBELIEVABLE. 

I don't know whether my response made his trip to the stage unworthy of trying this again to others, or whether he just felt a need to interfere with me and my session, but he did not do it again to me or anyone else during the course of the day. After the session, the audience response to what we presented, how we presented it and my moderation of the session was so popular he was forced to tell me he thought I did a good job and that everyone really enjoyed it. You could tell it pained him to say it. But, there's another saying that fit him that day . . ."if you can't fight 'em. . . lead 'em!"   He felt he had no other option at that point. He realized he couldn't criticize, so despite how outshined or unnecessary he felt, he had to either lead the praise or be overshadowed by it.

The one thing that I continue to see over and over is that there are those who can't stand to see someone else succeed in their sandbox. As a result, they will always feel a need to try and show others that they are still in control. So, to all of those wonderfully capable women entrepreneurs out there . . . those who criticize you and treat you like you aren't good enough or doing a good enough job, are most often those who feel you are better than they are and they feel threatened by your grandeur. Ignore them and take it as a compliment. Chances are, you have many others who are secure enough to relish in your success and talent along with you. Know who you are; know what you are capable of; know what you do well.  That's who you are and no one can take that from you but you. Know it. Feel it. Believe it.

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